It’s Not About You

“Unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.” (John 12:24 NIV)

A few years ago, when my mom was under hospice care at home, my three brothers and I were taking turns helping with her care. A few days before it was my turn to make the trip to Buffalo, where she lived, her health deteriorated, and caring for mom now required helping with bathing and toileting. The level of my anxiety was growing exponentially. I could not imagine doing these things for and with her. My fear and anxiety were palpable. Then, one day, I heard Jesus say, “Michael, this is not about you.” Immediately, a shift occurred in my soul. I had peace. My circumstances didn’t change; my perspective and resolve did.

I was able to face those fears because there was a greater purpose. In Nietzsche’s words, “He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how.” By God’s grace and mercy, Mom died before we could get there, sparing her from more humiliation and pain. It was a gift to us both.

So what was the redemptive purpose? I’m not sure we can know fully on this side of eternity, but I do know in part. Sharing this story and this truth will help someone who reads it. It also helped me. That may fit my definition of a BOGO—Buy One, Get One: a story that helps both the listener and the teller. (A story for another day?)

What is causing the most stress in your life right now? You might be surprised to learn: It’s not about you. We make it all about us because our spiritual vision is impaired, but God wants to partner with us in a redemptive work for someone else. That stress agent contains the necessary ingredients to help someone else, and this knowledge creates a shift in our hearts.

Viktor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor and renowned psychiatrist, taught that life holds meaning even in the darkest suffering, if we have the courage to seek it. He wrote, “In some way, suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning, such as the meaning of a sacrifice.” Jesus expressed this powerful truth when he compared suffering to a seed that, in dying, produces many seeds. Seeds that will produce abundant fruit in and for others.

Tattoos aren’t my thing, but if I were ever going to get one, this is what I would tattoo on the back of my right hand: “It’s not about me.” On my forehead, I would tat: “It’s not about you.” Here’s the point: As a disciple of Jesus, I need constant reminders that my entire focus must be on following and trusting him, not my circumstances. So do you. If there is a mark of the beast, I bet it reads: “It’s all about me.” That’s the defining lie of the kingdom of darkness.

Jesus turns the world right-side up: ‘Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves…’ Scientists once thought the sun revolved around the Earth. We now know the Earth revolves around the sun. In Luke 9:23 and John 12:24, Jesus says something similar—our lives revolve around Him, the Son of God. It’s all about Him.

Run the play – It’s all about him.

“That stress agent contains the necessary ingredients to help someone else, and this knowledge creates a shift in our hearts.”

Finding Our Place in the Story

1. What current struggle or source of stress might contain a redemptive purpose beyond yourself?
2. When have you experienced peace not from changed circumstances, but from a shift in perspective?
3. What would change if you genuinely believed, every day, that your life revolves around the Son, not yourself?